I lost 125 lbs. No matter what I do, I Am Still the Fat Girl

I lost 125 pounds. 57 kilograms.

A transformation most would call miraculous. But no matter how far I’ve come, no matter how much I’ve built, created, or achieved, everywhere I go, people still see the “fat girl.”

It’s women who cut the deepest. Friends. Colleagues. Strangers at parties. Doctors trying to sell me inch loss programs.

Women who should know better, who should lift one another up, but instead fixate. On my body. On my food. On every inch of my transformation.

The “friendly fire” is the worst. The comments about my jiggly arms. The disappearing butt. The missing cheeks. How I’m leaner, how I’m unrecognizable.

Leave my fucking body alone. I know every woman has silently screamed this into the void. Yet, here we are.

Ask me how I am. Ask me how many women I’ve impacted with my work. Ask me how many veterans remember me because of the ways my work changed their lives. Ask me how many lives our emergency technology saved. Ask me what I’m reading these days. Hell, ask me anything but stop making my body the topic of conversation.

This Fat Girl Was Phenomenal Too

People mask these comments as “compliments.”

Let me make something very clear: the fat me was also phenomenal. She is me. We are the same person.

I existed then too.

Fat Paayal did incredible things. She achieved more before the age of 30 than most people achieve in a lifetime.

I’m happy to send you her resume. But fair warning: it will only fuel your insecurities and envy.

Why I Share My Weight Loss

I talk about my weight loss openly. I'm not trying to feed this frenzied obsession. I'm trying to show the why behind my work.

Why I founded Essential Body Couture Skincare.

Why I work with women all over the world on neurosomatic repatterning.

Why I help women build a healthy relationship with their bodies and finally feel at home in their own skin.

This isn’t vanity. This is reclamation. This is the work of undoing the pain that I, and so many women, have carried for years.

Women, Projection, and Obsession

"Just ignore it. Move on." Someone had the audacity to tell me which chakra was blocked because I was discussing this.

I’ve become an expert at navigating the bullshit. The microaggressions, the backhanded compliments, the invasive curiosity. But still, I am amazed.

Amazed at how deeply some women cling to their self-loathing. How dedicated they are to measuring their own inadequacies against another woman’s body. How committed they are to making someone else’s life about their insecurities.

And yes, it hurts. Because I know what it’s like to be the fat girl. I lived with every sneer, every joke, every whispered commentary about my food and my shape.

And yet, even after changing my body, even after reclaiming my health, my energy, my life, my identity is still tethered to that version of myself.

Reclaiming Identity Beyond Weight

This is not about vanity or ego. This is about a society that can’t separate a woman’s worth from her body. That can’t acknowledge accomplishment without dragging the body into the conversation. That refuses to leave another woman in peace.

I see it for what it is: projection. These women are wrestling with their own reflections, their own shame, their own hidden insecurities. And I am the mirror.

And yes, this includes women who are being bullied for taking back control of their health. Women who are using GLP-1 medications, or other tools, to reclaim their bodies and their lives.

Instead of applause, they get gossip. Instead of admiration, they get judgment.

I see body positivity influencers apologizing and justifying their choices to their followers on Instagram.

What world are we living in? All of this is nobody's business.

And no, weight gain is not always about laziness or “family conditioning.” Your ignorance is showing, Karen. Science would like to have a chat with you.

I think it’s brilliant when someone finds a tool that enables them to take back control of their health! Taking agency over our own health IS the whole point!

That’s exactly the work I do with my clients - helping women reclaim their bodies, their minds, their confidence. And why the hell not? Who are we to judge anyone's bodies?

So I stand. I move through it. I keep building, achieving, living. And I remember: the obsession is never mine. It is theirs.

Vanity, Empowerment, and Choice

And yes, some may argue that I promote vanity.

After all, I am the non-invasive face-sculpting queen.

But let’s be clear: I help women become the best version of themselves. The very choice I made for myself.

I don’t shame double chins, round faces, or the features they wish to embrace. I help them see themselves as the beauties they are and guide them toward the fullest expression of themselves so they can feel at home in their bodies.

You can want better for yourself. It is not a crime.

A Vision for Women Supporting Women

It would be nice to live in a world where we actually see each other. Woman to woman. Without the automatic calculation of pounds or curves. Where the first thing that leaves our mouths isn’t "You lost weight!" or "You gained weight!"

Where conversation isn’t comparison or gossip disguised as “concern" and "tips" and "wisdom".

Where transformation - any transformation - is met with awe, not envy. Where the fat girl who lost weight, the woman taking her health back, the woman reclaiming her body, can walk into a room and simply exist without her body being a conversation starter.

Because I have done more than shrink. I have survived storms that would have flattened most. I have built things that mattered, changed lives I will never stop counting. I have conquered battles no one saw coming.

In your eyes, I may just be the fat girl. The one defined by inches, by curves, by what I ate yesterday or am eating now. Gasp sugar!

In my own eyes, I'm the woman that has roared in the face of every adversity that has come my way.

They can keep trying to be Regina George. I'll keep being me.

To every woman who is in a similar place: I see you, sister.

They can keep coming at us with their insecurities. But you will always have a SAFE space with me.

We can and will talk about your dreams and aspirations, the things that make you laugh, the things that fill your heart with joy. We can talk about the things that scare you and the things that lift you up. I will not judge you or your body. If you need my professional help, I am here. Holding SAFE spaces for women like us IS the crux of my work.

And helping you come home to yourself is absolutely my honor.